Therapy: poetry recap

Sometimes thoughts get in my head and I can’t get them out..

Sometimes thoughts get

In my head

And I

Can’t get them out.

Sometimes I

Can’t get them out.

Get them out.

Get them out.

They get stuck.

Trapped like a fly in amber.

Preserved for future generations to test

Preserved

Preserved

Stuck

Stuck in a rut.

Panicking,

Panicking

Whyamipanicking?

Alexa, how fast can a heart beat before it explodes?

Alexa, how many deep breaths do I have to take before I can breathe normally again?

Alexa, how much does anxiety weigh?

Alexa, if anxiety weighs nothing, how come my shoulders feel so heavy?

Alexa, how come?

Alexa, how?

Sometimes thoughts get stuck in my head and I can’t get them out.

Sometimes.

This is a sign of healing, he says,

As I’m sobbing in his office.

As he whispers through teary eyes, you’re worth it.

Thoughts

The more vulnerable I am, the more suicidal I become.

The years of being told I’m not worth it bubbling up to the surface.

A volcano of trauma.

Get

What are you thinking?

I don’t want to be here.

I know, I can see the distress on your face.

Stuck.

What’s your favorite color? Pink.

How many things are pink in this room?

I can see that your healing.

Feeling everything is a sign.

Some days I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. I’m so tired: physically, mentally, emotionally.

I can see that.

It’s ok not to be ok.

Advertisements

One thought on “Therapy: poetry recap

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s