It’ll only hurt for a minute, they said. Only a minute and then you’ll be used to it.
It’s been ten years, and I’m still not used to how it feels. I’ve been numb for so long, letting my mind leave my body every time I started to
F e e l anything
My mind’s way of protecting itself from the pain
D I S T A N C I N G itself from the broken/ness.
In order to work through the trauma, you’ll have to feel it. Feel it all. Let it be.
Exist in the moment
(But first I have to survive the moment)
Go for a run
How do you deal with the feelings you’ve spent years running from?
You can’t do this alone.
I know I’m opening a door but here’s my number
Text when the feelings drown out hope
Text when the voices in your head cause you to forget all you’ve learned
Text when you forget how to breathe. How to survive
Internal debate: a noun where you decide if you’re worth the text. Bother him at home?
Maybe his job;
Is his job.
Got a phone call at midnight on July 3rd. 4th of July party at church. A young woman on the brink. Talked her off the ledge.
Sometimes that’s me
Walking the ledge
Teetering the line
Dealing with pain myself
Fighting the lion smelling like antelope.
You have to feel to deal to heal.
You deserve to be here, and I’m not gonna let you tread water by yourself. I’ll be your life preserver.
For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.
For every emotion, there’s an equal and opposite emotion.
I’m leaving these skill cards here because this is my safe place in this building.
Working through tough things- t r a u m a t i c things hea/rt/break/ing things means safety net
I need to feel things in order to move past this. In order to put my past in my rearview mirror.
Sadness. Anger. Depression. Panic. Suicidal. Joy.
On a scale from 0-5, how high is the panic, the emptiness, the loneliness?
5 means suicidal
5 means crisis
5 means alone in a room full of people.
I have to remove the skill cards because you don’t want them there.
They look nice on my books.
If this place stops feeling like a safe place, we’ll start banging heads together.
Feelings intensely pounding like waves.
Come; g o
E b b; flow
Life. Composed of moments.
Learning to survive each one.
It’ll only hurt for a minute, they said.
A minute. A moment. It eventually passes.
I believe them now.
It’ll only hurt for a moment.
It only hurts for a moment.
Cutting yourself open when you want to be dead but will settle for feeling instead
hurts for only a moment.
Letting the feelings in when you’re trading your ghostly figure for a skeleton?
Hurts for a moment. Kills for a moment.
But in the moment between life and death,
Reach for the phone.
7-1-3, it’s me.
I know you’re shocked. I am too. But you see
Here I am
And I’m ready
Ready to take the plunge
In and feel
Remember the ice cube.
They look nice on his books.
One mindfully be present
I’m glad you reached out.
I am too