Honey, You’re 13

Ok, I admit it. I stole most of this blog post from a Facebook note I wrote a year ago; but it still manages to hold relevance.

I’ve noticed recently that quite a few of my younger Facebook friends, as well as some that are closer to my age, put a lot into relationships; they get really serious fast, and are devastated when it’s over. So, I wrote this to kind of explain my views on everything.While it may seem kind of cynical, I guess, in a why, it’s kind of my story too.

Honey, you’re 13, do you even know what love means?

Love is more than a feeling. It’s more than an attraction. It’s a journey, and it takes a while to get to the point of really being in love.

Take me for instance: I was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years, and at the time I really thought I loved him. We went through so much together, and we both helped each other out with so many things. And while the Relationship itself was great, it wasn’t the right thing for either of us.

So, a few days before Thanksgiving 2010, I broke up with him. Looking back on it, I realize that what I thought was love wasn’t really love. It was just an intense fondness.

Even though I wasn’t “in love” with him, the break-up still hurt. Yes, I cried. Yes, there was a time for a while when I wanted to get back together. Yes, my heart was broken even though I did the breaking up.

But, I made it through it. I moved on. And I realized that ending the Relationship was probably one of the best things I’ve done for myself.

You can call me crazy if you want, but it’s true.

Before, and during, the Relationship, I was the ‘quiet’ girl who didn’t know who she was. I filled my life with a guy, because I wanted acceptance; I wanted to define myself.

Not that the Relationship is over, I have discovered who I really am. I’m quiet, but am not afraid to say what’s on my mind. I realized also that a guy does NOT define who I am.

So, even though you have a broken-heart; even though you are hurting a lot right now, I hope you remember this.

Guys won’t always stay true; they won’t always love you for you.

If you stay true to yourself, and love you for who you are, life will be much easier.

Don’t let a guy define who you are.

Discover who you are.

Live your life.

Then, maybe, you can let a guy back in.

Honey, you’re 13. You don’t need to dress like your 25. You don’t need all that makeup. You are beautiful the way you are, and I know you don’t believe me now, but trust me, one day you will learn to appreciate yourself.

Honey, you’re 13. Don’t watch all those trashy shows that make you grow up too fast. Stay young while you can. Because once you grow up, you can’t go back. You can’t go back and undo the things you’ve been through, the things you’ve seen. Stay young. Please.

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Immortal

As humans we are blessed with mortality. We are born. We live. We die. If we were to take the span of our lives, and compare it to the age of the universe, our time here would be equivalent to a blink of an eye.

But, let’s just imagine for a moment that we were capable of living forever–of being immortal. What would that mean? What would that do for our value of human life? I mean, would our lives have as much value?

I imagine that if we were to live forever, at some point we would stop taking care of ourselves. If we don’t die, what’s the point? I imagine that we would believe that our lives have no meaning. Why? Because we have all the time in the world (literally) to figure out our calling–to figure out what we want to do with the rest of our lives. If we were immortal, we would care for the earth, or would we squander it as some are doing now? Would there be any need for laws? If we can’t be killed, what’s the use? If the previous premise is correct, would mass chaos then ensue? Would the population of earth be so overcrowded that we’d have to find alternate places to live? Would we keep aging forever, or would we reach a certain age then stop, or is it cyclic?

Would we die, or just simply disappear when we have no more use on this planet?

If I were immortal, I would travel to every corner of the earth. I would learn all there is to learn and know everything there is to know. I would take more risks, step  way out of my comfort zone, and maybe live a little more than I foresee myself living. I would try everything there is to try and do everything there is to do.

The fact of the matter is, that we are not immortal. We are not in control of time (although, I like to imagine that time is like that of time in Slaughterhouse- 5).

As humans, we all are put on this earth for some reason. We all have a calling. And we are not here forever.

As a Senior in High School, every minute of every day is jam-packed with things to do, and when I think about it, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like to go to bed knowing that I lived that day to the fullest, and that if I were to die tomorrow, that my life has made in impact somewhere. That I lived the fullest life I could.

As humans, that’s all we can do.

“Live each day to the fullest.
Get the most from each hour, each day,
and each age of your life.
Then you can look forward with confidence.
and back without regrets.

Be yourself- but be your best self.

Dare to be different
and to follow your own star.

And don’t be afraid to be happy.
Enjoy what is beautiful.
Love with all your heart and soul.
Believe that those you love, love you.

Forget what you have done for your friends,
and remember what they have done for you.
Disregard what the world owes you, and
concentrate on what you owe the world.

When you are faced with decisions,
make that decision as wisely as possible
then forget it.
The moment of absolute certainty
never arrives.

And above all, remember that
God helps those who help themselves.
Act as if everything depended upon you,
and pray as if everything depended upon God.” “Live Each Day to the Fullest”- S.H Payer

Double Strawed

Today, I was double strawed.

Yep, I went to Red Robin  (yummm) with my family. Upon receiving my glass of Root Beer, I was confused to see two straws.

Waitress: “You have just been double strawed at Red Robin. How do you feel?”

Me: “Ummm. A little confused.”

Waitress: “You should feel special. You were just double strawed!”

I looked. Being double strawed means nothing. Absolutely nothing. But, the more I think about it, the more I realize she was right. I do feel special. But, not because of the double straw; because upon receiving my refill, with only one straw, I got a balloon.

Waitress: “Everybody should feel special.”

 

She has a point, you know. There are a lot of broken people out there who don’t know what it’s like to be loved. They don’t know what it means to feel special (I am reminded of the Beatles song “All the lonely People. Ya, I like the Beatles).

These lonely, broken people don’t know what it’s like to be special–to be cared about (Actually, to be quite honest, everybody is broken and lonely in some way. And we don’t always know that we are loved and are special).

So, what exactly is my point? Well, it’s good to be reminded that we are special. People should make it a conscious effort to make people feel special.

Smile at someone. Hold the door open. Say hello. Or double straw someone and then give them a balloon. The littlest things make the biggest difference.

Beauty.

Here’s the thing: I’m not very fond of myself.

You see, I have this problem where I always compare myself to society’s ‘ideals.’  It causes major headaches on my part. I walk around school and see these seemingly perfect girls that have the “perfect” body; their hair is always perfect. Their makeup is perfect. Their teeth are perfect.

It’s taken me a while to realize that nobody is that perfect. Even the models on billboards/commercials/magazine covers are not that perfect. Photoshop and other editing programs are advertisers’ best friend. And it’s amazing what the perfect amount of makeup can do. Makeup is powerful. The best makeup artists can transform their appearance whenever they want.

Not that I’m against makeup, because I’m not. Makeup can help girls feel beautiful; it can cover up imperfections. It can help accentuate the things we like most about ourselves.

But, why is everybody so focused on outer beauty? Inner beauty is just as, if not more, important.

Inner beauty can transcend outer beauty. A beautiful heart and soul can help make a person shine. But that’s not what society values. In TV shows, movies, stories, the beautiful people on the outside are the most successful–they get what they want.

Something I’ve noticed (being the observant, tv watching, book reading, teenager that I am) is that more often than not, the most beautiful people on the outside, are the meanest, most conniving people (of course there are always those exceptions. *cue green-eyed monster*). To me, the prettiest people are those who are nice to everybody, kind, caring, compassionate.
So, yes. Maybe my hair is hardly ever perfect. Maybe I can stand to lose a few pounds. Maybe my makeup is pretty bad. And maybe I wear reading glasses. But I’m still beautiful. So, screw you, Society. You can’t tell me I’m not beautiful.
Because I am.

I don’t remember Growing up

Do you ever have those days when you wish that you could go back to being a little kid? I do. All the time.

To kids, everything is magical. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny are just as real as the sun in the sky or the houses they live in.

Not only that, but kids can say the darnedest things, and nobody cares. Exhibit A: http://forums.macnn.com/89/macnn-lounge/256680/funny-answers-by-kids/   for further proof, just Google it.

You don’t have to prove anything to a kid either. They believe in things they can’t see. “Because I said so,” is an acceptable answer.

The innocence of kids is great, but the best part of being a kid was being able to bend the rules of any game.

One day, Hannah and Andrew were playing Volleyball at my Grandma’s house. The game went something like this.

Andrew: This is your box; you have to hit it in the box

Hannah: But your box is smaller than my box.

Andrew: I’m littler than you are.

So, the game went on like this for some time, and of course Hannah was winning. That is, until…

Andrew: You can’t step on this circles. The boulders will fall on you.

Hannah: What boulders….?

And another time when they were playing “Light Savers” (Lightsabers).

Andrew: You can’t hit me here, here, here, or here. Those are protective layers.

Hannah: Ok. Then you can’t hit me here, here, or here.

Andrew: No, you don’t have protective layers.

Like, I said. Kids can bend the rules to aid them in their quest for victory.

If kids can, then why can’t I? Somewhere between the age I was and the age I am, I  grew up. I lost the ability to bend the rules to satisfy my every whim. I lost the ability to believe in things because my parents told me they were true. I grew up. I remember getting older, but I don’t remember asking for all this responsibility.

Just for one day, I’d like to go back to being able to bend the rules. I’d like to go back to being innocent, and naive. I’d like to put ridiculous answers down on tests, such as these kids did. I wish my biggest problem in life was that my imaginary friend was missing, or that I wasn’t big enough to hang out with the big kids.

Kids are great, which is why I’m glad that I have little cousins that are able to make me laugh long enough to forget my problems for at least a little while.

Today is a Present

Puns are great, and so is sarcasm.

But that’s not what this post is about.

This post is about today and what a gift it is. You see, as humans, our lives on earth are not determined by us. Sure, we can decide what we do, but we do not decide when we get to live or die. I would have loved to be born in 18th England, don’t ask me why, I have no idea. Obviously, that didn’t happen. I was born in Western NY in 1994. How boring!

The past:

It’s not something we can change. We can’t just somehow bend time and watch our life flow in reverse and stop at the exact moment we wish to change. So why wish that we can? Is it because we as humans like to be in control? We want everything in our life to go as we want. And when it doesn’t, we wish it to change.

The future:

People plan their future to a tee. They plan where they’re going to live, what job they’ll have, how many kids they’re going to have.

I’m sorry, but life doesn’t work that way. Not to be pessimistic, or a dream crusher, but life throws us curve balls. And when these curve balls come our way, we throw temper tantrums.

Is it some fallacy of humans that makes us unable to accept the fact that us humans are powerless when it comes to control of our lives? I don’t know.

Why do we try to change the past when our own lives hang precariously in the balance? I mean any one of us could be gone tomorrow. We have almost no control. So why try to take control. We can’t change our past, nor can we know what is going to be our destiny.

I don’t know who first said this quote, but I first heard it in the move “Kung Fu Panda.”

“You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the “present.”– Oogway.

“One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.”–Oogway